Its the times... and they're a changin

Ok, barely halfway through this new book (what do you mean "what book"? - read the whole blog you lazy bitch)... anyway... So something in my head has clicked and I am now a man on a mission. Which is a surprising thing to say because in the past, any life altering change to my diet or wellbeing was usually prefaced by some but usually all of the following...

1 - move large Brabantia in front of Fridge (if you don't know what a Brabantia is then please leave now, you sad pedal-bin person)

2) - get behind fridge

3) - tip fridge forward so that entire contents fall into Brabantia

4) - repeat with all free standing food cupboards

5) - repeat with all wall mounted cabinets (somewhat trickier I can tell you)

6) - Join a new* gym

7) - Make a huge song & dance about new regime to anyone who will listen

8) - When it fails after 3 days and you are caught by a work-mate tipping a whole bag of Toffee Crisp Clusters into your mouth at once, pretend everyone you know is speaking a foreign language when they ask you how your new diet is going


* joining a new gym is not enough, it must be a bigger and better gym with more facilities. I am now paying over £148 a month for the premiere suite in the largest gym Europe. You see I could possibly make it a full time job, just joining new health clubs. I could even lose weight just from all the applications and checking them out

.. in THIS instance, I’ve done none of that. I am almost on autopilot, buying healthy food, actually spending time preparing it and most horrifically, eating it without a side order of mini battenbergs (god bless ya Mr Kipling).

Time will tell. I can always delete this blog and pretend you speak a foreign language if it all goes tits up and you mention it. - How rude!