Homo for the holidays

Ok, I had a bit of a scare the other night whilst at home in Scotland. I'm pretty sure its all my own fault but it still needs to be exorcised. Dreams... yes that vast array of incredible brain activity that's going on in the inside, when usually on the outside, ones face resembles that of a bells palsy sufferer (complete with dribble)..

I am known only for ever having nightmares. Anything from a short one that just involves little mild sadness to full on 6 hour bloody hunting with monsters - wake up screaming types. I've become used to it. I even sometimes know that after the combination of lack of sleep, a truckle of cheese & a vat of port that a really good one will be brewing, but nothing, and I mean nothing prepared me for the random horror that was my dream 3 nights ago.

It was very short and very very real.

The only point I remember is that Tania Turner was having sex with me. I should also point out this stage that not only do I have nothing against Zöe Lucker - she's very sexy!, !. or indeed any other cast member from Footballer's Wives. I have even as yet only ever met women called Tanya who were very very beautiful, be it Tania Brier, Tania Yelland etc etc so I have no idea where this came from. i really am a man's man and i can't see that changing, no matter how stunning (or how fabulous their nails are)

Perhaps its time I cut down on the cheese before bed.?