Its not every day....

....that a 70 year old woman says to me "I'm just going to insert my finger in your anus"

Its even less frequent that I reply "Oh, go on then"

Yes, after years of being told I was "full of shit", I finally decided to take all this advice i'd heard and have a colonhydrotherapy session.

There is something altogether unsettling about laying on a bed in a powder blue paper gown, trying to protect one's modesty by holding the gown from flying up, yet not 15 inches further round, a hose is attached to you like something from The Borg.

I can't say it was utterly painless but the humiliation factor far outweighed any physical pain until eventually, there I was chattering away to this amazing woman who looked like she was in her late 40s, about life the universe and the fact she could see "I chew my food well".. oh dear - right back to the top of the embarrassing scale... and so it went on..... and on..... and on....

40 minutes later, i'm still laying there thinking that by now, my whole colon must have come out the pipe (well at least i'll be a few pounds lighter!)...

Then its over, as suddenly as it began. Not 30 minutes later, I am dressed, down Bond St, in Selfirdges and sitting at Yo Sushi, watching the conveyor belt going round and reflecting on what just happened..

My my... what an experience

I'm now left with only 2 decisions

1) Do I go back again in 8 weeks and continue this therapy
2) Do I risk allowing comments to this post for fear of the ensuing comedic responses brining down the Blogger servers

We shall see.......