The High Life...

...no its not that wonderful airline comedy featuring Alan Cummings, although sometimes my life does playout like a desperate pantomime but that's another story...

annnyhoo

so what a busy 24 hours... having left work yesterday to rush home, switch into full Bree VanDeKamp mode, get the dining room ready for a residents meeting AND wonderwoman spin into something presentable so as to gracefully drape over a chaise-long ready for a young man who was coming to visit me from Manchester.

well it didn't pan out exactly like that .. . I rushed out of here late..(quell frickin surprise), I board the mobile steam rooms, Northern an Jubilee and arrive home looking like the love child of Bernard Manning & Rose West... oh and for those of you under 35, that's NOT a good look.

So I meet little ... well lets call him Matt for the purposes of anonymity. He's cute despite him claiming that his friends say he looks like Eddie Izzard!.. we get to mine, order a takeaway as my fridge made Old Mother Hubbards cupboard look like a fully stocked european hypermarket - I swear there was an echo!

Matt obediently watches TV, plays with his laptop, reads and generally takes up no room at all. I on the other hand am now just out of the shower, robe hanging off one shoulder, Phillis Diller Hair, a mouthful of shredded beef with chilli + chopsticks hanging out of my mouth, tripping over the guest cats, answering the door to the residents ready for the meeting and kinda NOT ready. Matt casually flicks the pages of my latest T3 and I curse his serenity

So, all that goes well, meeting meeting meeting, chat chat chat, ok now get out of my house so I can flirt with boy wonder on the couch.. thanks goodbye, ooh nasty blouse!, oops did I think that out loud?

Matt decides that from my MGM library of 40 million DVD's he would like to watch Clue. Yes Clue, the 80's comedy starring Tim Curry, Madeline Khan, Lesley Anne-Warren, Christop..... oh sorry, you don't give a rats ass do you?.. Now don't get me wrong, I've nothing against the film. The scene where "The Singin Telegram" girls get blown away just CANNOT pass without a belly-laugh, but it must be the 19th time I've seen it (inc ALL the endings).. SO we watch...

In the time it takes from "bang" to "whodunit" he has developed a fever and I spend the night in bed hugging a small human shaped blast furnace.. nice!

Time-check: 2am - phone call from my mate Dave.. drunk.. looking for a bar where he can put a credit card behind. "The number you require is.... and that will be 80p you git!"

snuggle up to blast furnace again, well, rather the only bit of him that seems tepid by comparison (schtumm - say no more) ;-)

Time check: 3am- phone receives picture video message... I'm too drowsy by this point to lift my arm and drift off..